Falling in love
From The Art and Popular Culture Encyclopedia
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| + | "[[Eros is the oldest of gods]], says Plato. He is the god of love, lust, blind passion and sexual reproduction. If an arrow from Eros's bow strikes a target, the victim [[falling in love|falls immediately in love]]. Eros's parentage is significant: he is the son of Aphrodite, goddess of love, and [[Ares]], god of war. He is thus born out of beauty and belligerence, out of [[Love–hate relationship|love and hate]]. Out of two opposites that are united nowhere else than in the most intimate space of the human psyche: the [[sexual act]], and its abstraction: [[eroticism]]."--''[[A History of Erotica]]'' (2011) by Jan-Willem Geerinck | ||
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| + | "[...] I am convinced that love cannot manifest itself if not on the base of a certain difference, that we're not falling in love with what's alike [...] An extreme age gap can generate passions of an unheard-of violence, racial differences retain its effectivity, and even the simple difference in language and nationality is not to be disdained. Two lovers should not speak the same language, they shouldn't be able to really understand each other" | ||
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| + | J'acquis la conviction que l'amour ne peut se développer que sur la base d'une certaine différence, que le semblable ne tombe jamais amoureux du semblable, même si en pratique de nombreuses différences peuvent faire l'affaire : un extrème différence d'âge, on le sait, peut donner lieu à des passions d'une violence inouîe, la différence raciale conserve son efficacité, et même la simple différence nationale et linguistique n'est pas à dédaigner. Il est mauv ais que des aimés parlent la même langue, il est mauvais qu'ils puissent réellement se comprendre, qu'ils puissent échanger par des mots, car la parole n'a pas pour vocation de créer l'amour, mais la division et la haine, la parole sépare à mesure qu'elle se produit, alors qu'un informe babillage amoureux, semi-linguistique, parler à sa femme ou à son homme comme l'on parlerait à son chien, crée les conditions d'un amour inconditionnel et durable. Si encore l'on pouvait se limiter à des sujets immédiats et concrets...ça pourrait encore aller, mais au-delà commence le règne de la désunion, du désamour et du divorce. | ||
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| + | --''[[Serotonin (novel)|Serotonin]]'' (2019) by Michel Houellebecq | ||
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| + | [[Image:'Bologne to Rome' page in Stendhal's On Love.jpg|thumb|right|200px|[[Stendhal]]'s depiction of the process of [[falling in love]], from ''[[On Love (Stendhal) |On Love]]'', 1822]] | ||
| + | [[Image:Icarus by Redon.jpeg|thumb|right|200px|''[[Icarus]]'' by [[Odilon Redon|Redon]]]] | ||
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| '''"Falling in love"''' is a mainly [[Western world|Western]] term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards someone to one of [[love]]. The usage of the term "fall" implies many things: that the process may have been in some way inevitable or uncontrollable, risky or putting the lover in a state of [[vulnerability]], that the process is irreversible, or all of these things, in the same way the word "fall" is used in the phrase "to fall ill" or "to fall into a trap". The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent. | '''"Falling in love"''' is a mainly [[Western world|Western]] term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards someone to one of [[love]]. The usage of the term "fall" implies many things: that the process may have been in some way inevitable or uncontrollable, risky or putting the lover in a state of [[vulnerability]], that the process is irreversible, or all of these things, in the same way the word "fall" is used in the phrase "to fall ill" or "to fall into a trap". The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent. | ||
| - | ==Alberoni Theory== | ||
| - | In his [[sociology|socio-psychological]] theory [[Francesco Alberoni]] states that ''falling in love'' is a process of the same nature as religious or political [[Religious conversion|conversion]]. | ||
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| - | People fall in love when they are ready to change, or to start a new life. | ||
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| - | According to Alberoni, falling in love is a rapid process of destructuration-reorganization called the [[nascent state]]. In the nascent state, the individual becomes capable of merging with another person and creating a new collectivity with a very high degree of [[social solidarity]]. Hence the definition: falling in love is the nascent state of a collective movement formed of two people only. | ||
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| - | In order to understand if someone is truly in love, the individual must be put to [[truth]] tests and, in order to find out if he or she is loved in return, the [[beloved]] is also put to reciprocal tests. The incandescent process of the nascent state through these tests gives way to certainty and produces a stable love relationship. According to Alberoni, the [[phenomenology]] of falling in love is the same for young people and [[adult]]s, for [[men]] and [[women]] and for [[homosexual]]s and [[heterosexual]]s: this is because the structure of the nascent state is always the same. | ||
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| - | Unlike the theories consolidated by [[psychoanalysis]], the [[sociology|sociologist]] does not consider falling in love as a [[regression (psychology)|regression]], but instead sees it as launching oneself towards the future and change, and thus as fundamental to the formation of a couple in love. | ||
| ==See also== | ==See also== | ||
| + | :''[[falling]], [[love]]'' | ||
| *[[Limerence]] | *[[Limerence]] | ||
| *[[Infatuation]] | *[[Infatuation]] | ||
| *[[Love sick (anxiety disorder)|Love sickness]] | *[[Love sick (anxiety disorder)|Love sickness]] | ||
| + | *[[I Fall in Love Too Easily]] | ||
| + | *[[Attachment theory]] | ||
| + | *[[Dating]] | ||
| + | *[[Flirting]] | ||
| + | *[[Love at first sight]] | ||
| + | *[[Love sick (anxiety disorder)|Love sickness]] | ||
| + | *[[Puppy love]] | ||
| + | *[[Romantic orientation]] | ||
| + | *[[Transference]] | ||
| ==References== | ==References== | ||
| - | *[[Denis de Rougemont]], ''Love in the Western World.'' Pantheon Books, 1956. | + | *[[Denis de Rougemont]], ''[[Love in the Western World]]'' Pantheon Books, 1956. |
| *[[Francesco Alberoni]], ''[[Falling in Love (book)|Falling in Love]]'', [[New York]], [[Random House]], [[1983]] | *[[Francesco Alberoni]], ''[[Falling in Love (book)|Falling in Love]]'', [[New York]], [[Random House]], [[1983]] | ||
| - | *''[[Falling in Love]]'', 1979, Alberoni | ||
| *''[[Essays in Love]]'', 1993, Alain de Botton | *''[[Essays in Love]]'', 1993, Alain de Botton | ||
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Current revision
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"Eros is the oldest of gods, says Plato. He is the god of love, lust, blind passion and sexual reproduction. If an arrow from Eros's bow strikes a target, the victim falls immediately in love. Eros's parentage is significant: he is the son of Aphrodite, goddess of love, and Ares, god of war. He is thus born out of beauty and belligerence, out of love and hate. Out of two opposites that are united nowhere else than in the most intimate space of the human psyche: the sexual act, and its abstraction: eroticism."--A History of Erotica (2011) by Jan-Willem Geerinck "[...] I am convinced that love cannot manifest itself if not on the base of a certain difference, that we're not falling in love with what's alike [...] An extreme age gap can generate passions of an unheard-of violence, racial differences retain its effectivity, and even the simple difference in language and nationality is not to be disdained. Two lovers should not speak the same language, they shouldn't be able to really understand each other" J'acquis la conviction que l'amour ne peut se développer que sur la base d'une certaine différence, que le semblable ne tombe jamais amoureux du semblable, même si en pratique de nombreuses différences peuvent faire l'affaire : un extrème différence d'âge, on le sait, peut donner lieu à des passions d'une violence inouîe, la différence raciale conserve son efficacité, et même la simple différence nationale et linguistique n'est pas à dédaigner. Il est mauv ais que des aimés parlent la même langue, il est mauvais qu'ils puissent réellement se comprendre, qu'ils puissent échanger par des mots, car la parole n'a pas pour vocation de créer l'amour, mais la division et la haine, la parole sépare à mesure qu'elle se produit, alors qu'un informe babillage amoureux, semi-linguistique, parler à sa femme ou à son homme comme l'on parlerait à son chien, crée les conditions d'un amour inconditionnel et durable. Si encore l'on pouvait se limiter à des sujets immédiats et concrets...ça pourrait encore aller, mais au-delà commence le règne de la désunion, du désamour et du divorce. --Serotonin (2019) by Michel Houellebecq |
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"Falling in love" is a mainly Western term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards someone to one of love. The usage of the term "fall" implies many things: that the process may have been in some way inevitable or uncontrollable, risky or putting the lover in a state of vulnerability, that the process is irreversible, or all of these things, in the same way the word "fall" is used in the phrase "to fall ill" or "to fall into a trap". The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent.
See also
- Limerence
- Infatuation
- Love sickness
- I Fall in Love Too Easily
- Attachment theory
- Dating
- Flirting
- Love at first sight
- Love sickness
- Puppy love
- Romantic orientation
- Transference
References
- Denis de Rougemont, Love in the Western World Pantheon Books, 1956.
- Francesco Alberoni, Falling in Love, New York, Random House, 1983
- Essays in Love, 1993, Alain de Botton
