Loudermilk (TV series)  

What can I get you?
I'd like a large coffee.
Okay, so hot coffee?
Hot coffee.
Okay. Room for cream?
Totally leave room for cream.
Why are you talking like that?
Why are you talking like that?
Because this is my voice.
This is my voice.
No, it's not.
I heard you talking a minute ago.
I know you don't talk like that. Neither do you, because nobody actually talks like this.
You choose to talk like this, and today I chose to talk like this.
Pretty fucking annoying, isn't it?
Why you so rude, man?
Just stop doing that.
I can't help it.
This is my voice.
No, it's not.
It's an affectation that annoying teenagers and rich people use to sound like they don't give a shit, except you work in a coffee shop, so I know you're not rich, and you don't look like a teenager.
Unless you're Eunice Kennedy Shriver, knock it off.
So just 'cause I talk like this means I don't give a shit?
And what exactly am I supposed to not give a shit about?
That's an excellent question to ask yourself in your actual voice.
Excuse me, some of us would like to order.
Fuck everybody.
You're a total dick, man.
There! There you go.
Good.
You're talking.
Wow.

--creaky voice parody