User:Jahsonic/AHE/Greco-Roman/How to pick-up women?  

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Ovid takes ample pleasure in telling of the love affairs of the gods, but he also wants to give love advice to us plain mortals in his Ars Amatoria, an early sex manual. Ars amatoria (The art of love) is a poem in three books in which Ovid -- in his usual breezy style -- raises topics that people find so hard to put into words. He has Venus say, "... what you blush to tell is the most important part of the whole matter". Each volume ends with a bed scene. Ovid writes remarkable passages about simultaneous orgasm and his dislike of gay love. More than anything else the poems are a guide to the courtship of women and remarkably up-to-date - except perhaps in those passages on the use of love potions:

   Remember that every woman can be conquered.
   Work on your character and develop your intellect.
   Take care of your hair.
   Be on good terms with her maid.
   Avoid harsh words.
   Choose beautiful but not too expensive clothes.
   Choose the right time.
   Be patient and be obliging.
   Be careful with make-up.
   Write her a letter full of flattery and promises.
   Win the sympathy of her staff.
   Groom yourself in private.
   Learn to be eloquent and persevere.
   Send small but precious gifts.
   Camouflage your imperfections.
   Stay as near to her as possible.
   Read her a love poem.
   Laugh and cry in a distinguished manner.
   Make the most of your appearance, but do not act effeminate.
   Let her take credit.
   Walk elegantly.
   Drink wine with moderation.
   Appeal to her vanity.
   Uncover an arm and or a bit of shoulder.
   Be friendly with her lover.
   Be her loving care.
   Learn to sing and make music.
   Make abundant oaths and promises.
   Do not go a away for a long time.
   Know thy literature.
   Praise and kiss her.
   Do not get caught in adultery.
   Practice your dance and play.
   Use gentle violence with her.
   Do not drink love potions.
   Do not participate in sports, but stroll in the city.
   Take the initiative, but be prepared to step back.
   Confess infidelity for a passionate reconciliation.
   Mingle.
   Make sure you look pale and thin.
   Know yourself.
   Beware of imposters.
   Beware of friends and relatives.
   Endure setbacks.
   Instil hope and fear by taking a short delay in answering a love letter.
   Adjust yourself to her.
   Do not be jealous rivals.
   Take care of your correspondence.
   Exercise discretion in love.
   Do not get angry.
   Gloss over her shortcomings. 
   Do not be haughty.
   Enjoy a mature woman.
   Make eye contact and smile.
   Prolong love making and strive for a simultaneous orgasm.
   Look happy, not sad.