Love–hate relationship
From The Art and Popular Culture Encyclopedia
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A '''love–hate relationship''' is an [[interpersonal relationship]] involving simultaneous or alternating [[emotion]]s of [[love]] and [[hate]] – something particularly common when emotions are intense. | A '''love–hate relationship''' is an [[interpersonal relationship]] involving simultaneous or alternating [[emotion]]s of [[love]] and [[hate]] – something particularly common when emotions are intense. | ||
The term is used frequently in [[psychology]], popular writing and [[journalism]]. It can be applied to relationships with inanimate objects, or even concepts, as well as those of a [[Romantic love|romantic]] nature or between [[Sibling relationship|siblings]] and parents/children. | The term is used frequently in [[psychology]], popular writing and [[journalism]]. It can be applied to relationships with inanimate objects, or even concepts, as well as those of a [[Romantic love|romantic]] nature or between [[Sibling relationship|siblings]] and parents/children. | ||
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+ | In common parlance, it is often said that their is a thin line between love and hate, seeing it as a [[Balance (metaphysics)|balance]]. | ||
==Psychological roots== | ==Psychological roots== | ||
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*[[Tyler Durden]] and Marla Singer - ''[[Fight Club]]'' | *[[Tyler Durden]] and Marla Singer - ''[[Fight Club]]'' | ||
*Vladimir and Estragon in ''[[Waiting for Godot]]'' by [[Samuel Beckett]] | *Vladimir and Estragon in ''[[Waiting for Godot]]'' by [[Samuel Beckett]] | ||
- | + | *[[Catullus 85]] | |
- | ==Further reading== | + | |
- | *[[Psychoanalytic concepts of love and hate]] | + | |
- | *''The Origins of Love and Hate'' (1910 - 1965) - [[Ian Dishart Suttie]] | + | |
- | *''[[(Per)versions of Love and Hate]]'' (1998) - [[Renata Salecl]] | + | |
==See also== | ==See also== |
Revision as of 09:18, 11 February 2018
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A love–hate relationship is an interpersonal relationship involving simultaneous or alternating emotions of love and hate – something particularly common when emotions are intense.
The term is used frequently in psychology, popular writing and journalism. It can be applied to relationships with inanimate objects, or even concepts, as well as those of a romantic nature or between siblings and parents/children.
In common parlance, it is often said that their is a thin line between love and hate, seeing it as a balance.
Contents |
Psychological roots
A love-hate relationship has been linked to the occurrence of emotional ambivalence in early childhood; (Sigmund Freud, On Metapsychology) to conflicting responses by different ego states within the same person; or to the inevitable co-existence of egoistic conflicts with the object of love.
Narcissists have been seen as particularly prone to aggressive reactions towards love objects, not least when issues of self-identity are involved: in extreme instances, hate at the very existence of the other may be the only emotion felt, until love breaks through behind it.
Research from Yale University suggests love–hate relationships may be the result of poor self-esteem.
Celebrities
The term is sometimes employed by writers to refer to relationships between celebrity couples who have been divorced, then who reunite (notably Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, or Eminem and Kimberly Scott), as well as to their relationship with fame itself.
Development
A love-hate relationship may develop when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving relationship, yet still retain some passion for, or perhaps some commitment to, each other, before degenerating into a hate-love relationship leading to divorce.
Friendship
Sigmund Freud said of himself that “an intimate friend and a hated enemy have always been indispensable to my emotional life...not infrequently...friend and enemy have coincided in the same person”. (Quoted in Ernest Jones, The Life and Work of Sigmund Freud).
Aristotle warned of the conflicts that can arise from conflicting claims within friendships. A related theme is "obligatory friendship", where one party usually feels indebted to another and forges a friendship but still holds a grudge over a particular past disappointment or set of disappointments, while the "creditor" in the relationship agrees to the nature of the relationship often for security reasons, but remains aware of the "debtor's" grudge and feels counter-indebted until the cause of the grudge is sufficiently overcome.
Culture
- Catullus introduced the love-hate theme into Western culture with his famous lines: “I hate and yet love. You may wonder how I manage it. I don't know, but feel it happen, and am in torment”.
- The concept of a love-hate relationship is frequently used in teen romance novels where two characters are shown to "hate" each other, but show some sort of affection or attraction towards each other at certain points of the story – particularly in the context of the romance between a good girl and a bad boy, or a good boy and a bad girl.
En-dash
The term love–hate relationship has been used in several books on writing as an example of the use of the en dash.
List of famous love-hate relationships in fiction
- Aristophanes and Euripides - Frogs and Thesmophoriazusae
- Benedick and Beatrice - Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing
- Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy - Pride and Prejudice
- Erik and Christine Daaé - The Phantom of the Opera
- Hamlet and Ophelia - Hamlet
- Henry Jekyll/Edward Hyde and Lucy - Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
- Tyler Durden and Marla Singer - Fight Club
- Vladimir and Estragon in Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
- Catullus 85
See also
- Actaeon
- Ambivalence
- Borderline personality disorder
- Codependence
- Crime of passion
- Eros and Thanatos
- Femme fatale
- False dilemma
- Frenemy
- Hate
- Jealousy
- Love
- Love triangle
- Madonna–whore complex
- Opposites attract
- Petrarch
- Private Lives
- Psychoanalytic concepts of love and hate
- Sibling rivalry
- Splitting (psychology)